Self Validation

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It’s natural to seek validation from our boss, co-workers, family, and friends. Often times you may feel like we’re on the right track in a particular situation, but receiving outside validation solidifies that and calms our fears.

What happens, however, when you don’t have the outside resources to validate? The reality is you can only rely on you which is why it’s extremely important you learn how to validate yourself because you’re the only person that has complete control of you.

Validation is a strong foundation of who you are, how you see yourself, what you believe in and whether or not you feel as if you belong. Brene Brown, in her latest book, “Braving the Wilderness”, explains how true belonging is learning to belong to yourself.

What it boils down to, is we still have cave person DNA but we’re all living in a modern world. It is our natural instinct to need to belong and to be accepted. In real life, however, seeing ourselves as individuals is crucial. Just because you’re from a family of doctors may not mean that this is the right occupation for you.

There are so many questions you have to answer when you’re young: Who are you? What do you want in life? What do you want to be? Knowing and validating yourself helps you find the answers from inside yourself vs. looking to the outside world.

Social media in today’s society does pose a challenge for self validation. We are inundated with images and stories of “the perfect lives” being lived without us. It can give us a sense of detachment and loneliness.

A common response is to get on a dating app and seek validation from someone who swipes right or to buy that purse that’s beyond your budget. These “things” are temporary fixes which ultimately do nothing. Truly knowing yourself and being able to validate yourself is the only real response you need.

Being able to validate yourself will be the the most rewarding life lesson. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful when there are people out there to validate you as well, but other people can’t be your only source. You know you and that’s all you truly need.

Tess Brigham